Top Chef, Fail.

Last night I nearly burned down my apartment. Ok that is a stretch because the smoke detector didn't even go off, but I'm almost positive it would have if I had not opened my balcony door.

My goal was to make squash cakes… little fried patties of grated squash and onion. I knew in my head the basic concept of making them, and had a recipe, but didn't follow either and ended up with a giant mess on my hands.

It went like this:

I started by grating the squash. Those things have a ton of water in them too. So I tried to drain as much off as I could and went through 37 paper towels. Then I added some grated onion and garlic too. I was getting fancy and felt good at this point. Then I got the assembly line ready with a plate of Panko bread crumbs and flour. I also tossed some flour in the grated veggies. That was something my mama did to her potato cakes last weekend at the beach. I felt like a real pro remembering that.

Anyway, this is where things get messy, literally. The grated veggies did not want to stick together and they were still pretty water-filled. Imagine wetness, and flour and bread crumbs all over my kitchen. Then I would turn from one side of the kitchen with the crumbling mess and throw it into the hot grease. With the mess still all over my hands I would grab the spatula to move the cake around to pick up the stray piece in the grease. Then it was whip back around and try to assemble the next one quickly to get it in the grease within the same time frame as the one already in the grease, thus the flipping of the cakes could be coordinated. I got about three in and then start the flipping. Then I waited and took them out when they were done. Now lots of pieces were floating in the grease despite my efforts to get those all on the frying cakes. The oil was very hot too. So about half way through my second batch of three the oil and stray pieces began to burn and the smoke was engulfing my whole place. I took the pan off the burner and opened the balcony door as the vent on high was not enough to get rid of the smoke.

Batch three was basically it. I did a few more after that but they were not successful. All in all I made about 10 before giving up and of those probably 5 were nice looking and/or edible.

As those cooled I warmed up some already cooked turkey meatballs and had those with the 5 cakes worth eating. Together it was yummy but independently the cakes were not the greatest things I've ever made. And in the end after eating the squash cakes I realized they were way too greasy. Next time I will bake them and I think things will be a lot more successful and certainly cleaner in the kitchen.

Until then...

xoxo Sara Marie